did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
