he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
