I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
