Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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