It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I am one with the molecules
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
