In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it hurts more in the daytime
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
