I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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