I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
