party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
