Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
