There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
