just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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