what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
