Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
