just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
