She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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