im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
