I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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