no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
