guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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