Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
