I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
