big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize