can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
