My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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