I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
