i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
