this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
