8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
