I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
