Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
