What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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