Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
4 words: hood of his car
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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