too bad you live with your parents still
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
