If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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