so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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