Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
