Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just found puke in my bra..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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