But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Green mimosas i think yes
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
What happened to fro yo and sex?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
