hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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