some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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