We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
