i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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