And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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