bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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