Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
