I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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