whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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