and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
