Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
