real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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