is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
