You're my little dorito
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
