Kiss
Puke
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize