are you still at the devil's house?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
