he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
