I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize