Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
