just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
