My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
