i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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